New Beginnings or Rewriting the past?

Easter services today. I almost didn't make it. I've been in bed with flu-like symptoms since a) chaperoning 61 8th graders to San Francisco for Spring Break b) taking the red eye back Wednesday night c) having a deep tissue massage 5 hours after landing in which the therapist attacked my lymph nodes like a wild Pastelito attacks a headless squirrel toy. I figured if my Savior could die on the cross for me, I could haul my ass out of bed and praise the fact that He is RISEN!

Our sunrise service was in the North Beach amphitheater. Here's what made it special: the outdoor atmosphere, the sun rising over the ocean, the blending of many different congregations, the message being in Spanish (and not having to rely entirely on the translator!) the kids playing, the people bringing their pets (I left mine at home), the jogger coming in after her morning run to worship, the drunk and barefoot smoker who could barely focus but yelled "He's ALIVE!" anyway, her trip to the altar for prayer, my pastor's ever-elegant wife comforting her after....it's definitely not the church I grew up in, but it is ever much HIS church.

After the service, I chatted with the pastor of a partnering church who happens to be my former singles pastor from my big-church days. We talked about getting together; he and his wife bought a house just blocks from me. There were some times when I was wounded by people in that ministry, but perhaps this is a chance to work it out. We talked about Facebook and how while it is a great connection tool, it sometimes brings out the skeletons and cobwebs. I've been dealing with a few of mine as things pop up at times. Again, perhaps a chance to work it out.

While we were talking, a woman who attended that ministry came by. She's my age and has Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. She was not diagnosed until much later in life and so often times she comes across as severely mentally challenged. One of my conflicts with the singles ministry was trying to educate some of the "leaders" on how to deal with her. Their response was they didn't; they just ignored her rather than engaging her. We caught up briefly - she's moved to a safer area of town and is working two at-home jobs, trying to make ends meet. She's attending a small group with a woman that I know: She was part of my first small group! Again, the past comes back.

On the way home, I called my mom to wish her a Happy Easter. She excitedly told me about the cruise that she, her girlfriend, my sister and her family were all going on in August. I wondered aloud if the thought had crossed their mind that I might like to go; it hadn't. The call ended with me being made to feel like a selfish spoiled brat for pointing that out. Again - skeletons and cobwebs.

My "new life" resolution is to keep moving forward. I can't really forget the past. I can't rewrite it, either. I just have to learn how to react better to the present.