God's smiling today

Welcome to Middle School Boy Behavior

This was an actual e-mail exchange between me and the parents of one of my new 6th graders. They both teach at the high school so I know them well. This is their only child, so mom is not quite versed on middle school boy behavior yet:

E-mail from me to them: We’re sitting outside in concert band today because the air is out in the band room and it’s stifling. I told them to take a study hall. The boys are all teaching each other how to make animal noises instead. Your precious one came to tell me/show me how talented he is at making fart noises with his armpit.

You are SO in the bell curve of normal 6th grade boy behavior. Isn’t middle school AWESOME!

Dad's response: Tooting sounds and bathroom talk are forever funny if you’re a guy. Humor always gravitates to 5/6th grade level.

Mom's response: Oh my GOD! He really needs to learn appropriate/inappropriate behavior for the situation. I know that he’s pretty competent at the flatulent noise, but we have talked about where it’s ok to do that – and where not. SO SORRY!! How do you stand them all day long?????!!!!!

Then I saw Dad after school. He just shook his head and said "Yeah. Mars. Venus. They really DON'T understand each other."

That's definitely a story worth re-telling.

Darwin was right!

Just plain stupid! Repeat after me: "Tropical Storms and Hurricanes are NOT playmates."

Ear Candy

David Byre and Brian Eno just finished a new collaboration "Everything that happens will happen today."

Enjoy!

TRUE worship

One of the reasons I left my previous church was that the new worship/music director preferred to work with professional musicians as it made rehearsals easier for him. Membership to the church or even belief in Jesus was not necessary. Meanwhile, members of the church with lesser talent (including myself) were left with nowhere to serve.

I've been attending my new church's Wednesday night service lately. The worship leader has his two girls (ages about 9 and 7) playing in the band. The pastor's 14 year old son is playing guitar, right next to the adults. The older little girl is playing piano and is growing more confident in her beginner technique. Meanwhile, the littlest one looks like "Little Miss Sunshine" and plays a MEAN shaker while singing her heart out. The band sounds awesome - if you closed your eyes, you wouldn't know the kids were there.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is what worship should be!

Tropical Triple Threat

I'm not sure if it's a record, but Gustav just hit, and now Hanna, Ike and Josephine are lined up like airplanes on a runway. Those folks at the The National Hurricane Center are MIGHTY busy these days.

I may just put the shutters up this week and leave them up until December.

The BBQ Song

The Mayor and La Fleur (from Georgia - Go DAWGS!) always say that a BBQ and a cook-out are two entirely different things. This little ditty should clear it up.

Psalm 23 for the Work Place

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without
murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions
that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system
crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping
co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body
that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---
for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens
to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer
and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

Now THAT'S a dog!

Techno-Clown sent me a link to something I might like, since I've been considering getting a new dog.

It doesn't seem very cuddly and affectionate to me.

Wildlife in Peril

Wildlife conservations are concerned after seeing this photo.


Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of
belonging to the Democrat Party... as they have apparently learned to
simply sit and wait for the government to provide for their care and
sustenance.

Not THAT kind of weird

Tonight's bible study was about Psalm 1 and how we're supposed to stand clear of the non-believers; in the world, not of the world, etc. First, I love that when my pastor was trying to describe "delight" he used Divinity candy as an example. He described them as "sugar shaped like a biscuit." He also said he "delights" in them like Jesus "delights in us." (Remember, this is the man that said God gave us taste buds so we can enjoy tiramisu!)

Then he talked about Christians who say they are more comfortable around non-believers because Christians are weird. He said (I loved this part) "DUH! We're SUPPOSED to be weird. Not, like, FROOT LOOPS weird."

I think I've finally found a church that feels like home!

What NOT to wear!

I saw these T-shirts for sale recently. I didn't buy any, but that's only because I"m on a budgget and already have more shirts than I can possibly wear.

"It's not a complex. You really ARE inferior."

"I can't remember if I'm the good sister or the evil one."

"Wait a minute. I need to put on my 'Gosh. I really care' face."

Celebrity Deathmatch - Idol Edition

If you've never seen the irreverent MTV2 show Celebrity Deathmatch you should. It's a Claymation parody/fantasy of two celebrities in an unltimate fight to the death.

I don't know if they've done this match-up yet, but I would love to see the American Idol edition of William Hung vs. Sanjaya Malakar.

The Boy Wonder

We had a band director meeting yesterday and when it was done, I went to a favorite watering hole with 3 of my favorite directors: Mary Poppins (who has a huge purse with anything you could ever need in it) and "The Georgia Rejectors" (husband/wife team who thought moving to Georgia might be a good idea, then thought better of it a year later). The Rejectors son "The Boy Wonder" was there as well.

After lunch, Mrs. Rejector and Boy wonder came back to play in the pool. She told me a few HI-larious stories about Boy's first day of school: (He's in 3rd grade)

1. The teacher was telling the students the rules and expectations of the class. She turned around and Boy was kicked back in his chair, his feet on the desk and his hands clasped behind his head. Evidently he is VERY confident about starting 3rd grade!

2. Again, her back was turned and when she turned around, she found that he had taken the tennis balls from the bottom of the chair legs (placed there to prevent scratching of the floor, etc.) and placed them over his ears.

She also told me a story about how the family was out shopping and she and Mr. were trying to decided which to buy for the Boy for Christmas: a Wii or an X-Box. They figured they would take him to the store, let him play with both and see his honest reaction to each.

As he was playing with the Wii, he suddenly threw the controller on the floor and announced, "I have to go to the bathroom!" which was immediately followed by "Oops. I just did!"

The Wii wins. If it can hold his attention stronger than his bladder's urge, it must be good.

This Just In...

Just released from PEZ USA is the new
Disney Fairies Series.

The first three characters released
are Fawn, Tinkerbell and Silvermist.

More Fairies are scheduled to be
released over the next year.

The unique iridescent wings are soft.

The set of all 3 Disney Fairies is $9.95,
sold MIP.

////////////////////////////////////////

PEZ USA also just released 2 new Pez
characters for the Winnie the Pooh
series - Buster and Darby.

Buster and Darby will soon appear in the
new TV show "My Friends Tigger & Pooh."

These two new characters are sold as
a set of 2 for $8.95, MIP.

////////////////////////////////////////


You can see pictures and order at:

The Burlingame Pez Museum

Food on a Stick

Sometime, somewhere I saw a list for "Food on a Stick" available at the Minnesota State Fair. Not sure I'm game for any of these:

Teriyaki ostrich
Corned beef and cabbage (yes, ON A STICK!)
Gator
Spaghetti/meatballs/garlic bread (Deep fried on a stick)
Deep fried Spam curds (even if these WEREN'T on a stick, it'd be interesting!)

Schoolhouse Rocks, old school means new

I went to an "end of summer" celebration for a summer school program that my school hosts. I was amused by two original musical selections there:

One was about algebra and was sung to the tune of Y.M.C.A.:
"It's fun to graph using Y=mx+b"

The other was a science tune. The hook was:
"D to the N to the A"

I still wanted to hear a little "Conjunction Junction" but alas....

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog

I have 3 choices in order to blog as regularly as I used to, now that my work location has officially "blocked" social networking sites.

1. Pay for Internet at home again

2. Blog by phone

3. Continue paying for T-Mobile Hotspot (MUCH cheaper than home service) and hitting up the Starbucks in town whenever I can.

As much as a pain #3 can be sometimes, I think it's actually the better option because it gets me out of the house with a purpose. We'll see how that works out.

How's the weather? How's life?

Well, I think that this is the 3rd or 4th year that we've lost teaching time BEFORE Labor Day due to tropical weather. Tropical Storm Fay blew through here yesterday and today and our first two days of school (orientation days, actually) didn't happen. Monday we were supposed to dedicate the new community center (read: gym) so now that has to be rescheduled. We're on for tomorrow, but I have NO idea what we're doing, nor am I going to great lengths to figure it out. I'll deal with it when we get there. This year is going to be a hectic one, as I'm teaching 6 instead of 5 classes, and they are periods 4,5,6,7,8,9 with no break, followed by clubs/lessons/parking lot duty until 6 PM. I'm off 1,2,3 so I'll have to eat lunch 3rd (at 10 AM). The extra duty pays $7K, so I look at it as this: the school is paying me to lose weight! No more grazing in the cafeteria!

My other hope is to get as much done as I can during my 3 planning periods and go home at the end of the day. No late nights in the office! With no convention and fewer home repairs (don't get me started on the roof leak in the cabana!) this could be the year I actually get a life!

We'll see!

In Shock

As I mentioned yesterday, I had lunch with a group of teachers I used to work with in the public school system. After dining, we went to my house to sit and chat. One of the ladies passed away suddenly this morning.

You just never know.

more travels in store

I made a last-minute decision to go see Songbird perform in Santa Fe this weekend. I have a squillion airline miles, so even with the last-minute booking fees, a ticket to her performance and the shuttle to get me from the airport in Albuquerque to Santa Fe, the journey is only $175. Plus I'm staying with her - saving on hotel.

I can easily spend more than that in one weekend at home!

Conservative Judaism

I had lunch with my Jewish mother today. (because even Christians need one.) We used to work together and now she lives in Vegas. She told me a tale from her synagogue that had me in hysterics, although she was more confused than amused.

She teaches at the synagogue and helps with their drama department. For Purim this year, she prepared a little play with her kids but was upstaged by the Neil Diamond impersonator that they hired to sing "They're coming to America." Then she told me about the Mexican rabbi there. I promised I would not use his real name, but suffice it to say that it was something very similar to "Fernando Goodstein." She goes to the Torah class that he teaches and she was surprised when he left out parts pertaining to homosexuality. While she does this herself because she's a Reformed Jew (which means she chooses what to believe), she questioned why a Conservative Jew would do the same. He said that as long as both partners are Jewish, keep Kosher and honor the Sabbath, it's ok.

I chuckled to myself. I wanted to ask if it was ok to murder or steal if you keep Kosher and don't do it on the Sabbath.

I LOVE liberal logic!

Lucy Ricardo Reincarnate

My mom is a certified dingbat. Remember how last year she sent my birthday e-card early, but it said, “Hope you HAD a great birthday” and then sent me a PAPER card in the mail that arrived 6 weeks late because she put the wrong address on it and it got returned to her because she couldn't find my address even though I have lived in the same house since 1991? Tonight I called to ask her for her neighbor/best friend’s phone number. She gave it to me. It was wrong.

Electronic dating – what it says and what it means

One night, Songbird and I were having a “guy” discussion. What we’ve figured out is that evidently, when posting a profile on an online dating site, things get translated into “guy” speak, which we don’t understand. Through our research, we have come up with a sort-of translation dictionary. It has not been edited for accuracy, but if you’re a guy and want to weigh in, you are more than welcome:

Profile says: I want someone to watch ESPN and snuggle
What it means: I’m into one night stands and kinky sex.

Profile says: Looking for a nice normal girl
What it means: I’m into one night stands and kinky sex.

Profile says: Looking forward to great conversation
What it means: I’m into one night stands and kinky sex.

This was actually my favorite quote from Waiting.

"So, you know when you’re walking past a group of people, you hear them laughing you sometimes get that paranoid self-conscious feeling? Maybe they’re laughing about you when they’re really not? Well, in your case, they really are."

Sometimes, that is SO true!

The advantages of senility

It was movie night on Friday and Waiting was the "view du jour."

This scene made you laugh and cry at the same time. It was also one of few that had no obscenity.
-------
Monty: How are you doing today?
Customer: Oh, I’m slipping gradually into senility
Monty: Really, Do you consider that a good thing or a bad thing?
Customer: Well, it’s a mixed bag. It’s good in the sense that I can take walks in my underwear. I can give small children the middle finger. But as long as I look happy while I’m doing it, people just assume I’m senile.
Monty: Yeah, so what’s the bad?
Customer: Well, sometimes I give small children the middle finger and don’t realize I’m doing it until someone slaps me. So I really am going senile.
Monty: Alzheimer’s can’t be all that bad. You get the chance to meet new people every day.

REAL family time

I came back from Orlando late Tuesday as I had lessons to teach on Wednesday. As of this morning, Dave is still with us. He had a "rally" day on Tuesday, up and out of his bed, in a wheelchair, eating cheetohs and singing with friends. Now I guess he is sleeping more and more. I pray that he's not in any pain and that he slips away quietly surrounded by family and friends.

While I was up there, I spent an evening with Songbird's parents. They have an empty nest while she is in Santa Fe singing with the opera. Her brother recently re-enlisted, so they enjoyed having a "youngster" in the house. We went to dinner, then sat home and talked about life and everything - something that my own family doesn't do easily. The next morning, we had breakfast and watched some tv. We all laughed when Sesame Street came on and for once, her dad didn't channel surf. We watched in non-stop. It's been a long time since I'd seen it, but it's hipper than I remember. Then we balanced things out by watching Jerry Springer and Price is Right (channel flipping, of course. They were on at the same time.)

I felt home!

Peace that passes all understanding

I'm in Orlando for the weekend. I'm visiting someone who is in his final days of a 4 year battle with brain cancer. His faith has been an example to all of his friends, and yet everyone is struggling to grasp it all. As awesome as God is, we all want to know why Dave has to go, leaving a wife and 4 year old daughter.

I visited his church this morning (my "church away from home") and his pastor spoke of Dave's story during the message. He equated it with Moses and the burning bush. He said that since the bush didn't burn in a way that it normally should, it caused Moses to really take notice and look more closely at the situation. God was in that bush. In the same way, he said that in Dave's situation, God is there and it's causing us all to look more closely rather than just walk away.

He also reminded us that God is in the flame, not the vessel. It was a burning bush, not a mighty oak or a redwood tree. He will use us no matter how big or small we are.

I'm getting a slap of perspective this week. It's painful, but I get it.

Notes for family gatherings

Or at least MY family. I found this website today and the first page alone made me laugh out loud three times!

Summer Fun

I haven't blogged in quite some time for a few reasons:

1. I was exhausted after "Band Camp."
2. Buster is in the laptop hospital again.
3. I'm now working summer camp at school (counselor for grade 5/6/7 boys; ALWAYS fun!)
4. Blogger is usually blocked at school. Well, it is if I log in as myself. If I log in on a generic school library account, I can go EVERYWHERE!
5. My niece came to stay with me for two weeks and attend our school summer camp.
6. My niece left after 6 days because I'm incapable of properly caring for a 10 year old. (Who is not used to hearing the word "no.")
7. Now I'm supposed to go visit the entire fun-loving family for the weekend and pretend like nothing happened.

I'll keep you posted!

YES!

Need I say more?

and the finish!

MORE surprises

Since it didn't all fit on the last post!

The birthday surprise

Since it was a milestone birthday (40) a GREAT friend who USED to go to band camp but doesn't have to anymore decided to SURPRISE me and drove up 6 hours or so from San Jose to spend a few hours with me on my birthday. We had lunch and then he drove home. Isn't that AMAZING? Gotta love him. Oh, and he brought me a gift bag full of treats. Hope you laugh as much as I did!

Bacony Birthdays

I am SO lucky because I get to spend my birthday at Band Camp every year, and every year, the camp staff finds very interesting ways to help me celebrate. This year was no exception. Here is what the staff got me this year. If you've been a faithful reader, you understand my obsession with all things bacon and it will all make sense.

Is it worth it?

As you may now, my beloved computer Buster took another bad tumble when a student knocked it off my desk. I just asked for a quote from PowerBookMedic.com and they said to replace the Superdrive, the DC power supply AND the bottom tray would cost $453 + shipping and I could have it back in 3-4 days. While that seems like a lot, I just checked The Apple Store and a NEW 13" MacBook with SuperDrive starts at $1300.

I really love Buster and I'll miss him while he's in the 'puter hospital!

Video games hit a new high (or low...)

I was just alerted to THIS tasty piece of information. Sales are sluggish now, but just wait until these band geeks get back home to their Wii.


(PS - this isn't real)

An little itty bitty USA

One of the benefits of BDSAC is that I get to meet new directors (95 or so newbies this year) from all over the country. Today I had a conversation with one from Arizona, who mentioned a hilarious story about going to a function and hearing the Arizona state balladeer (who knew?) sing a story he wrote called "Amerizona" which is now the official state song.

Dancing Machine

Due to extreme boredom, exhaustion and lack of interest in doing anything productive, I'm clearing out my e-mail inbox. I found this website to be incredibly appropriate.

Almost there....

I have one more day of Band Director Sleep Away Camp. Right now, I'm monitoring the C session Instrument repair class and getting high from all of the chemical fumes. I need to inventory the percussion equipment that didn't sell and make a note to the Big Boss how much we owe the music dealer. I also need to do laundry and start packing. What I WANT to do is sleep for about a week straight. Wish me luck!

My "big" birthday was last week and I received quite an assortment of toys and gifts. I'll take some photos and post tomorrow. It'll keep you entertained for quite some time.

Good manners will take you far

Here is a handy little website that will help you with all of those awkward social situations.

Too many Omar's nights

I have a student at "BDSAC" who keeps complaining that she's not feeling well - migraine, vomiting, dizziness, upset stomach, etc. Trouble is, this is the same one I saw partying it up and throwing drinks down at our favorite watering hole at night. I'm not sympathetic!

Six degrees of musical separation

Type in the name of your favorite musical artist here and then hit expand. You can create a musical web of artists with similar styles, expanding out to groups you may not have considered before.

A perfect diversion from Band Director Camp.....

Time Flies

So we're in Session A, week 1 of "BDSAC" (Band Director Sleep Away Camp). We're tired and we have NO idea what day of the week it is. The concert is tomorrow and we've averted a few disasters along the way. I'm feeling WAY more sleep-deprived than I ever do during the school year and I'm surrounded by over 200 people almost 24/7. I'm starting to feel a little wiggy.

This sure ain't Kansas, Toto.

A musical roller-coaster....literally!

WARNING! Not for the weak!

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and
about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely
realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jenifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you frigging kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness --actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi
Austin , TX

If only all arguments were set to music

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist...

Haiku 4 U

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Travel Mojo is my life...

I was supposed to leave Portland, Maine at 6 PM, get to JFK @ 7:30 PM and head off to Phoenix at 8 PM. The 6 PM flight was canceled and a "new" flight was created for 7:45 PM. Meaning I was definitely NOT going to make the connection. So the plan was that I would fly as far as New York tonight, spend the night there and fly to Phoenix in the morning. It's 7:25 and the plane just arrived. Wish me luck!

The kitchen

More renovation pictures.....

Time to leave the lake

So tonight I leave Maine and head to Phoenix to see my grandmother. I'm bummed that I have to leave the lake; it's SO relaxing. Although, I think the foodie binge may have caused a huge size increase.

Visiting my grandma is going to be a bit stressful. It's my mom's mom and they don't really speak to each other much. I haven't seen her for about 15 years, since my grandpa died. I've never met her current husband. He's 92, and she's 86. There isn't much to talk about, except about how upset she is with my mom. I can't go there.

Wish me luck. I get there LATE tonight and leave on Friday morning. Then it's off to LA to see George!

What I've gained this week....

1. The ability to sleep for as long as I want.

2. Easy access to Tubby's homemade ice cream.

3. At least 10 pounds due to #1 and #2.

What I've lost this week....

1. My ATM card, and the $500 that someone else charged in gas purchases after they found it.

2. Use of my cell phone, after I discovered it doesn't "bounce" on the patio by the pool.

3. Use of my computer's disc drive, after a student knocked it off my desk.

4. The ability to see out of my right side view mirror, after it held an untimely meeting with a palm drive next to my driveway.

5. Quite a few hours of sleep, since the annual end-of-the-year faculty karoake party was held at my "newly improved" home and went until 3 AM last Saturday.

6. A large portion of my pinky finger skin as I wrestled with a Tiki torch that was unwilling to compromise on placement in the yard.

7. Feeling in my fingers and toes, as I'm now in Maine, where the temperature is lower than it EVER gets in Miami.

Prayer for my man

Not that I HAVE a man to pray for, but I received this today in an e-mail. I'm posting it here for future reference.

"Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN"

God loves sugar, too!

Here's my "take-away" from today's message at church: (paraphrased from Pastor Robert's sermon, of course)

"God created you to enjoy life. He could have created you so that you don't need nourishment, but instead, he gave you TASTEBUDS so you could enjoy nourishment....Tiramisu is a gift from God!"

Well said!

Atoms on a round rock

The other movie I watched last weekend was Martian Child. LOVED it!

David: Dennis, can I just say one last thing about Mars…which may be strange coming from a science fiction writer…but, right now, you and me, here, put together entirely from atoms sitting on this round rock with a core of liquid iron held down by this force, that so troubles you, called gravity, all the while spinning around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour and whizzing through the Milky Way at 600,000 miles an hour in a universe that very well may be chasing its own tail at the speed of light. And amidst all this frantic activity fully cognizant of our own imminent demise which is a very pretty way of saying we all know we’re gonna die, we reach out to one another. Sometimes for the sake of vanity, sometimes for reasons you’re not old enough to understand yet but a lot of the time we just reach out and expect nothing in return. Isn't that strange? Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird enough? What the heck do ya need to be from Mars for?

Optional exchange of DNA

Vitus is a movie about a genius child piano prodigy who just wants to be “normal.”

This scene of the movie actually made me laugh out loud, stop, rewind, rewatch and laugh all over again.

Vitus, who’s 12, is having dinner with his former babysitter, whom he has a mad crush on.
---------
Vitus: Well, statistically, women are usually seven years younger than their partners, but that’s really stupid because men die seven years earlier, so women are widows for 14 years... We would die at the same time. Besides, a woman’s libido is at its peak 10 years later than a man’s. That’s why so many relationships fail. Women should be older than their men. We would make the perfect couple. Isabel, you’re the love of my life.
Isabel: And what about sex?
Vitus: Well, that could wait for a while. It’s just an optional exchange of DNA anyway.

Playing "The Box"

So a few of our kids are getting interested in this fad of “El Cajon” – a percussion box that you sit on and play. It originated in Peru. They are very cool and very inexpensive.

My question is this: should I buy a few and start a new percussion ensemble called “Los Cajones?”

More renovation pictures

Here's the dining room: before, during and after.

Those Crazy Catholics!

I swear there is a saint for EVERYTHING! I'm very thankful for my buddy D who brought this to me on his last trip to town. You KNOW how I feel about bacon. (If you don't, re-read this post. It's a long, long story.

Feast of Love

You can count on Bing to watch movies that nobody else has ever heard of, and then to quote them here. Latest entry comes from Feast of Love

There is a story about the Greek gods. They were bored so they invented human beings, but they were still bored so they invented love. Then they weren’t bored any longer, so they decided to try love for themselves. And finally they invented laughter, so they could stand it.

---
Harry: God is either dead or He despises us….

Bradley: God doesn’t hate us, Harry. If he did, he wouldn’t have made our hearts so brave.
---
The unexpected is always upon us. And of all the gifts arrayed before me, this one thought at this moment in my life is the most precious. And so, we begin again.

The living room

So here are the first of the home renovation photos: The living room - Before, during and after.

Rediscovering Saturday mornings

One of the added "benefits" of planning the huge convention in March is that I now get to visit a chiropractor 3 times/week to fix all the stress that has been building up in my neck and shoulders. Luckily, his office is right next to one of my favorite Starbucks, so Saturday mornings for the next 6 weeks will start with a little "snap, crackle, pop" action followed by a tasty (non-alcoholic) beverage, some internet access and general people watching. I've forgotten that Saturday mornings can be quite productive.

A new "must-read" blog!

I'm not sure if I'm able to take credit for this or not, but a frequent "Bing Blog" reader has started one of her own. It's based on her life as a substitute teacher, and although it's relatively new, the few posts have all made me laugh!

Be sure to check it out!

Finally filed!

I filed my tax return tonight. It took me this long because.....who knows? I started in early February before the convention and then one thing led to another. But tonight at Starbucks, I filed my taxes, placed a vitamin order and updated my queue at Blockbuster.com. ALL of the movies that are on the AFI Top 100 list AND available from Blockbuster are now officially checked off or in my queue. What a long time THAT has taken.

Move that Bus!

So if you are a fan of Extreme Home Makeover, you understand "the Big Reveal" and how they hide the front of the new house from the owners by parking a bus in front of it and then having everyone yell "MOVE THAT BUS!" so that the bus will roll away and the new owners will pass out from excitement. Well, now that the renovations are done, we had a "Big Reveal" Bing Style - I put a Pez truck on the front step and everyone yelled "MOVE THAT TRUCK." It wasn't quite as effective, but quite appropriate given the owner.

I'M BORED!

So, the convention is over. Concert Evaluations are over. Spring Break is over. My home renovations are over. I'M BORED!

Since I have no pressing deadlines, I've been doing a lot of NOTHING. Seriously. I can't focus on anything. I have this constant feeling of "I'll do it tomorrow." I don't handle free time well at all. I need soomething to keep me occupied. Since there is no relationship on the immediate horizon, I guess it's back to the blog. I'll try to catch up on the last month or so. I'll try to do a better job of being more regular as well (we're still talking blogging, here) but it's hard since the school has blocked ALL the great websites and blogging by phone is kind of tough. Luckily I have wireless and there are about 4 Starbucks (and a few other hotspots) within a mile or so. No excuses.

BACK in business

Long story short...Starbucks is closing in 5 minutes....

Convention is over. I survived.
Buster was broken (I thought) I fixed him.
ALL the good websites are now blocked at school.
I'll be living at Starbucks from now on.

Gotta run! Oh, and SAN FRANCISCO in 5 days! WAHOOOOO Spring Break!

Convention update

and then...the thing was done.

March is NOT my favorite month

March 2006 - my 15 year old Sheltie Mingus fell in the swimming pool and drowned.

March 2007 - While on spring break to San Fran with school, I got a call from the dog sitter that my 15 year old terrier died in her sleep.

March 2008 - While on my way to our opening convention concerts at 7 pm tonight, my neighbor called to tell me that my cat is laying dead in her front yard. It's now 1:15 AM and I'm finally headed home to deal with that.

YES, Virginia - there still is a Bing Blog

I've received some frantic e-mails and phone calls because it's been over two weeks since my last entry. The "Big Dog" convention has started and life has been a bit crazy. Pretty much every day has started off with me getting news about some snafu that results in my now-standard response: "Are you freaking KIDDING me?!" which then results in me running around picking up balls that someone else has dropped and then calling The Silver Fox's office (he's our host) to tell them "It's all good! Problem solved."

Love knows no boundaries.....

....except for the LAST loser from the MoneySucker dating service I joined awhile back. Talked to this guy around the first of the year...yada yada..."I'm really ready to be serious about finding a relationship...yada yada...Are you busy on Saturday?...yada yada..."Great! I'll call you?"...yada yada....

Three weeks later, I call HIM to ask "Hey! What's up? Hadn't heard from you? He tells me that he called MoneySucker right after talking to me. I sound like a really great person, but I live too far away (20 miles.) So much for being "serious." Oh, MS was supposed to call me and tell me that so he wouldn't have to (translation: be a man and tell me himself.) That was 6 weeks ago. Haven't heard from them.

We're in the "documentation before asking for a refund" stage. That comes right before the "uhh...would you rather give me a refund or go to small claims court stage?"

More "True Love" observations

My friend Panda told me last night that this guy hit on her at work (she works in a restaurant/bar) the other night, and the ended up exchanging phone numbers. The next day she got a sheepish call from him. Seems his FIANCEE found Panda's number in his phone filed under "Hot Chick from the Bar." He had to call (with his fiancee on speakerphone) to explain himself. Panda's take on it: "Uh....YEA! Good luck with THAT relationship!"

She's such a smart little cookie!

Observations of "True Love"

I stopped by Walgreen's last night to look for some things for the convention. Well, at least I TRIED to stop by. It was so freakin' packed with cars that I couldn't find a parking space. Then I realized that it was 9:30 PM on February 13. The day before Valentine's Day. And of course, everyone was in a frenzy to buy the "perfect, well-thought out" gift for their soulmate.

Things that make you go "hmmmmm....."

Weather discussions in class

Day: Wednesday
Time: 8th period concert band

PA announcement: "Water polo has been cancelled due to the rain."

Teacher: "Yes, because we wouldn't actually want to get WET during water polo."
Student #1: "Well, it might be because of lightening."
Teacher: "Yeah, I know. But it's still funny if you think about it."
Student #2: "Do you think lacrosse will be cancelled?"
Teacher: "Of course not! If there is LIGHTNING, we WANT you running around the field holding metal poles!"

Weather or Not

It's been a bit stormy here in South Florida this week. Tuesday night was especially so. I walked to school because it was Grandparent's Day and we aren't allowed to use the parking lot during the day. There are valets who park the visitor's cars in the lot, about 20 feet from the valet station, while the teachers have to park on a remote lot two properties away. Go figure! Anyway, as I was walking HOME that night (LATE - 10:30 PM due to convention madness) the sky opened up and it started to pour. So I hid under a very big tree, knowing it would die down soon. Until I saw lightning. Then I called Lamburrito, who lives close by. He came and got me and took me home. Of course, in the 10 minutes it took for him to get there, it had stopped raining.

Ahhhh....life in the Tropics.

Hell Week

It wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have to TEACH as well. This week, interim grades were due (9 AM today) AND the jazz band performed today for Grandparents Day (also at 9 AM).

I was at school until 11:30 PM last night. Probably will be every night this week!

My "favorite" thing is when people comment "Well, at least you don't have a family to worry about."

Yeah....at least I have THAT going for me. Thanks for reminding me!

Amazing Grace

Found this link in my "inbox". You need to click on it.

Letter from an unhappy sibling

Hello Ms. Bing,

I'm sorry to inconvenience you, but could you please
speak with my brother, Thomas W, about completing
his assignments at a proper time? It's around 10:30
P.M right now, when most students should be asleep,
but this is one of several nights that I've been kept
up by his playing the tuba in attempts to complete his
homework at such a late hour.
On previous occasions I've had to put up with later
than this, but having traveled for hours by car this
weekend and competed in some very intense rowing
races.. I'm fed up. I know this is a rather personal
issue, but after speaking with my parents and seeing
that they are completely unperturbed by this problem,
I don't know what to do.
I've spoken with Thomas myself about schoolwork at
Ransom and how favouring his Wii and leaving
assignments until last minute just does not work out--
that has plainly taken no affect on him. I know you
were a good seventh grade dean- so I ask if you could
PLEASE knock some sense into him regarding his
assignments, chiefly his tuba playing. Please! He is
playing at this second a floor below me and the sound
echoes all over the place- I'm being driven MAD. He's
had an entire weekend to do this, and a time
approaching the morning of school is not the right
time.
I hope this isn't too much to ask, but please, just do
whatever it takes to get this kid out of my head!!!!

Sincerely,
Erin W, 8th Grade

---------------------------------
Erin,

I have spoken to Thomas, and although I would LIKE to beat him and draw blood, it would severely impact my ability to work at our school in the future.

Please let me know if this continues! I'm sorry for the trouble.

Ms Bing

Busy, busy, busy

WOW! I really wish I had more hours in a day, and could control every minute of them. There are way too many demands on my time, and not enought time to get it all done. I feel like one of those circus acts where the plates are balanced and spinning on sticks and the clown keeps running from stick to stick, giving each one a little attention so they keep spinning.

I think I'm going to drop a few plates this week!

ONE at a time

I keep trying to take things one day at a time, but lately they are all ganging up on me. To get through my "To Do" list this week, I have to take it one "thing" at a time. That means I pull some random task out of the "hat," act on it to completion, check it off the list and then move on to the next thing. I can't even seem to prioritize at this point; I just have to make the pile go down so I don't feel like I'm sinking.

Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat......

My sentiments exactly...

Trifecta Weekend

This weekend:

1. My kitchen cabinets were re-installed. The countertop gets measured on Wednesday, then wait 2-3 weeks for installation, some touch-up painting and then the home renovation marathon is officially DONE!

2. My mortgage went DOWN $259.60 per month. That's significant, and will allow me to pay for #1 that much faster!

3. Speaking of marathons, I ran the Miami ING Half marathon again yesterday. Didn't train as well as last season (what with home renovations and the ABA convention planning and all) so my time was a little slower than last year (about 7 minutes, I think) but I did finish and am functional today.

Hopefully this will be a sign of even BETTER things to come!

My latest match

This just in from eHarmony....

The one thing Bubba is most passionate about: the truth, when I am right and can prove it without a doubt.

Ummmmmm.....NEXT!

NOW I wish I had Cable/TiVo!

Jack has been invited to be a guest at the Ellen DeGeneres Show to talk about his Lending a Helping Hand Bill.

The episode will air on Monday, January 28.

Which mallet?

Student: Which mallet should I use to play the crotales?
Teacher: The brass ones
Student: Which ones are the brass ones?
Teacher: Hit yourself on the head with each one. The one that hurts the worst is the brass mallet.

More fabulous kids

I got this article from one of my band parents back in September. I glanced at the first paragraph, but didn't read the whole thing. I kept it in my inbox because I knew I wanted to at some point. It's about kids who are collecting art - Warhol, Rembrandt, etc. REAL major pieces of art. The parent who sent it to me is the VIP for Relations Art Basel Miami Beach - a HUGE art show, sometimes considered the most important art show in the US. I thought she was just telling me how kids are collecting art. Little did I know that her son Andrew (one of my 7th grade trombone players and a FABULOUS kid) was in the article!

ENJOY!


(By the way - Jack's mom said she's playing phone tag with Ellen Degeneres; hope he makes it up there!)

Saturation point

Is it possible... if you have had a REALLY productive and busy day, getting many of your items checked off the "To Do" list and many loose ends tied up on projects and teaching your classes and having really good rehearsals, that at the end of the day when you have an unexpected block of free time, you don't know what to do with it and you end up just sort of wandering around saying "what now?".....that your brain has reached a saturation point and you just need to pack up and go home?

More nicknames

I got a cute e-mail from a friend the other day regarding nicknames on the Bing Blog. She's said before that she has a hard time keeping all of my "characters" straight (and believe me, you are ALL characters in the story of my life!). Then she asked for a nickname all her own. We talked about it, but nothing is popping out at me. How about we all brainstorm together?!

Here are the facts:
1. She's a former band director
2. She's a flute/piano
3. She's a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids. The last two are twins, born December 7th.

She was suggesting "Sleep Deprived Mom". It's definitely a possibility.

Oh, and be sure to check out her blog to see pictures of the family!

Do the Math

Exhibity A: I get about $3500 per school year to be the 7th grade Dean. If you figure an average school year of 180 days, that's about $19.44 per day.

Exhibit B: I get $20 per 30 minutes to teach private lessons.

Exhibit C: Between yesterday and today, I've spent 4 hours on Dean issues.

Exhibit D: Some of that time was at the expense of my jazz band.

So I ask you - what am I REALLY getting out of it? Prestige? Honor? A big fat feather to stick in my cap?

Call me "Macaroni" but this is crazy!

Hidden message

I just tried to send an e-mail to my mom...here's the message I got in return:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at
I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses.
This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

:
68.168.78.104 does not like recipient.

Hmmmm...I wonder if I should be worried?!

Changing the World

You may have seen this on ABC News tonight. Pretty impressive little guy, isn't he?

He's also a great little flute player in my band!

Nicknames

My faithful readers (Thanks to you, but you all REALLY should get a life!) will know that I try to keep an air of anonymity to the Bing Blog. I would rather have fun nicknames for those in my world, mostly made up from things about that person. I was thinking that my buddy D-Man needs something that is a little more interesting. I was discussing this with Band Lady as we were hanging out at the state band geek/music nerd convention. I mentioned that D is a large supplier for my sugar fixes, therefore being the keeper of the Sugar Monkey. I said "HEY! He can be the Organ Grinder while I'm the annoying little monkey swinging around in circles." Band Lady reminded me that "Organ Grinder" could have QUITE a different interpretation to some.

Discuss.....

interesting Genesis insights

There are a few other blogs that I check out periodically. I just read THIS today and thought "Holy Cow! Why didn't MY warped brain think of that?!"

Ever notice how being a team player never really helps your solo career, especially when nobody on the team understands your position anyway?

More celebrity guests

Visiting our school soon - Madeline Albright. This time our 8th graders get to attend, and so do our Social Studies teachers. Should be interesting!

The Singleness Seven Year Itch

THIS article graced my e-mail inbox today. It's pretty much spot on. And so another year begins!

It's raining lizards!

Seems as though when it gets too cold in Miami, THIS is what happens.

Happy New Year!

So "Bing in the New Year" did NOT go on as planned. Many out-of-towners had to cancel due to ill parents, financial issues or other problems. I was QUITE disappointed, but ended up punting, and drove to Orlando to be with Songbird, Precious and D-Man and their families, since they couldn't make it to Miami. It actually took a lot of pressure off of me to get the house pulled together, since I'm still working on the kitchen and some of the finishing touches. The bathroom and my bedroom are pretty much done. The Pez room is having some electrical issues, but is coming together nicely. The kitchen needs to be pulled apart, the floor REDONE and the cabinets reinstalled. I'm looking at a mid-February Open House. You're all invited!