This just in from my sister: Before the sun sets, befor the memories fade, & befor I get drunk, and naked and lose my phone. Happy new year!!!

I got this card from my brother today: "Merry Christmas to my sister. Hey, remember that time we got on the 'nice' list? Me neither."

PERFECT!

Flying the friendly skies, part 2...It's 9 AM On Christmas Eve. I just checked in AND cleared security @ O'Hare in about 20 minutes. WOW!

Call DCF

After running some errands today in the bitter cold of Chicago, Martha and I (and baby Molly) went home to relax. Then a friend of Martha's called to say he had blown a tire and needed some help. So Martha left Molly with me and I was her first official babysitter. She kept me in line and nobody got hurt.

Christmas with Mr. Hanky

We were taking pictures of Molly in front of the tree today. She started playing with all of the ornaments and then Rob thought it would be fun to give her Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo (from South Park, for those of you who are ill-educated on animated Christmas lore).

The biggest problem with blogging by phone is that you can't put a title on the entry and you can only have 160 characters. This one is 156.

Flying the friendly skies...

When will people realize that it doesn't matter WHICH security lane you go through or WHAT boarding group you have, the plane leaves with EVERYBODY at the same time?

Dear Santa

One more day of school and SO much more to do! Lord, give me strength!

Meet the deck....

Here's the latest addition to the home....

Today my kitchen and I discussed the cabinet configuration again. This time, he agreed (somewhat) that my way was better!

GAME ON!

HYPOTHETICALLY - can someone claim temporary insanity if they torch their house because the renovations made them crazy?

Eating and color

Today's e-mail exchange:

1) I got this funny forward: "Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors...Fill your plate with bright colors... greens,
yellows, reds, etc. I went right home and ate an entire bowl of M&m's. Sure enough, I felt better immediately. I never knew eating right could be so easy."

2) My reply: "YES! And Skittles are fruits, aren’t they?"

3) I received this reply: "Don’t PEZ come in a variety of colors???"

4) My response: "I stand corrected, and ashamed."

19 days and wishing for a few more...

New Year's Eve and "Bing in the New Year" is 19 days away. Home renovation completion is probably more....I don't think I'm going to make it.

The floors are done, but they are still a little "soft" so I postponed the furniture delivery. I need to call tomorrow and try to set it up for the day or two AFTER Christmas. Kitchen cabinet installation started two days ago, but my subcontractor (being as how I seem to be the "Contractor") kind of messed up on one of them. I have to go to IKEA again tonight and buy another so he can put it in tomorrow. Countertop measurement appointment is set for Friday, 9 AM. Then he has to take the sink cabinet BACK out, as the floor guys didn't replace one square of plywood under that space, figuring that it wouldn't be visible under the sink cabinet. It is. The back deck should be done tomorrow. Bathroom got started yesterday, but I need to make another Home Depot run for some fixtures, etc. Don't EVEN get me started on the front patio!

I have officially reached ADD saturation...Please, Lord....give me strength!

Fashion Anarchy

Today a student came to school wearing a gold sequins jacket, which is not allowed in our dress code. He said "Come on. It's the COOLEST, isn't it?" I said, "Yes, indeed. But if I let YOU wear that, then I have to let everyone else wear whatever THEY think is the coolest, and they don't have such good taste. We'll have fashion anarchy at school and I just can't deal with that."

SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

This is very funny, but a bit sad because it's true.....

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SCHOOL -1957 vs. 2007

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.  Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark takes his aspirin, gets over his headache, and is able to concentrate on his classes.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Our new "wellness" plan

Our school HR department has started a new wellness program that offers a lot of things. Last month I got a flu shot. Next month, we all get to have cholesterol screening, blood pressure, etc. Good stuff. THIS month, they are starting a "Maintain, don't gain" program, encouraging everyone to come out of the holiday season at the same size, weight and general body density at which we started. The holiday parties and goodies are starting to roll in, which will make it extremely difficult. We lost our chef at the middle school, however, and the lunches are not up to our usual standards. Could make the whole season a wash, really.

Why bother?

We had a soda sale at school today to raise money for charity. I saw a student drinking caffeine-free diet coke. No sugar buzz? No caffeine rush? I dont' get it. What's the point? Why not just drink water?

Oh, HAPPY day!

Buster's back from the computer hospital. I'm SO happy! Now I can get caught up on my convention planning! AND I can go to Starbucks and Facebook for real instead of by phone. AND can read my e-mail on a regular size screen.

OH, HAPPY HAPPY DAY!