Too many Omar's nights

I have a student at "BDSAC" who keeps complaining that she's not feeling well - migraine, vomiting, dizziness, upset stomach, etc. Trouble is, this is the same one I saw partying it up and throwing drinks down at our favorite watering hole at night. I'm not sympathetic!

Six degrees of musical separation

Type in the name of your favorite musical artist here and then hit expand. You can create a musical web of artists with similar styles, expanding out to groups you may not have considered before.

A perfect diversion from Band Director Camp.....

Time Flies

So we're in Session A, week 1 of "BDSAC" (Band Director Sleep Away Camp). We're tired and we have NO idea what day of the week it is. The concert is tomorrow and we've averted a few disasters along the way. I'm feeling WAY more sleep-deprived than I ever do during the school year and I'm surrounded by over 200 people almost 24/7. I'm starting to feel a little wiggy.

This sure ain't Kansas, Toto.

A musical roller-coaster....literally!

WARNING! Not for the weak!

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and
about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely
realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jenifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you frigging kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness --actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,
Wendi
Austin , TX

If only all arguments were set to music

Everyone's a rittle bit lacist...

Haiku 4 U

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Travel Mojo is my life...

I was supposed to leave Portland, Maine at 6 PM, get to JFK @ 7:30 PM and head off to Phoenix at 8 PM. The 6 PM flight was canceled and a "new" flight was created for 7:45 PM. Meaning I was definitely NOT going to make the connection. So the plan was that I would fly as far as New York tonight, spend the night there and fly to Phoenix in the morning. It's 7:25 and the plane just arrived. Wish me luck!

The kitchen

More renovation pictures.....

Time to leave the lake

So tonight I leave Maine and head to Phoenix to see my grandmother. I'm bummed that I have to leave the lake; it's SO relaxing. Although, I think the foodie binge may have caused a huge size increase.

Visiting my grandma is going to be a bit stressful. It's my mom's mom and they don't really speak to each other much. I haven't seen her for about 15 years, since my grandpa died. I've never met her current husband. He's 92, and she's 86. There isn't much to talk about, except about how upset she is with my mom. I can't go there.

Wish me luck. I get there LATE tonight and leave on Friday morning. Then it's off to LA to see George!

What I've gained this week....

1. The ability to sleep for as long as I want.

2. Easy access to Tubby's homemade ice cream.

3. At least 10 pounds due to #1 and #2.

What I've lost this week....

1. My ATM card, and the $500 that someone else charged in gas purchases after they found it.

2. Use of my cell phone, after I discovered it doesn't "bounce" on the patio by the pool.

3. Use of my computer's disc drive, after a student knocked it off my desk.

4. The ability to see out of my right side view mirror, after it held an untimely meeting with a palm drive next to my driveway.

5. Quite a few hours of sleep, since the annual end-of-the-year faculty karoake party was held at my "newly improved" home and went until 3 AM last Saturday.

6. A large portion of my pinky finger skin as I wrestled with a Tiki torch that was unwilling to compromise on placement in the yard.

7. Feeling in my fingers and toes, as I'm now in Maine, where the temperature is lower than it EVER gets in Miami.

Prayer for my man

Not that I HAVE a man to pray for, but I received this today in an e-mail. I'm posting it here for future reference.

"Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN"

God loves sugar, too!

Here's my "take-away" from today's message at church: (paraphrased from Pastor Robert's sermon, of course)

"God created you to enjoy life. He could have created you so that you don't need nourishment, but instead, he gave you TASTEBUDS so you could enjoy nourishment....Tiramisu is a gift from God!"

Well said!

Atoms on a round rock

The other movie I watched last weekend was Martian Child. LOVED it!

David: Dennis, can I just say one last thing about Mars…which may be strange coming from a science fiction writer…but, right now, you and me, here, put together entirely from atoms sitting on this round rock with a core of liquid iron held down by this force, that so troubles you, called gravity, all the while spinning around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour and whizzing through the Milky Way at 600,000 miles an hour in a universe that very well may be chasing its own tail at the speed of light. And amidst all this frantic activity fully cognizant of our own imminent demise which is a very pretty way of saying we all know we’re gonna die, we reach out to one another. Sometimes for the sake of vanity, sometimes for reasons you’re not old enough to understand yet but a lot of the time we just reach out and expect nothing in return. Isn't that strange? Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird enough? What the heck do ya need to be from Mars for?

Optional exchange of DNA

Vitus is a movie about a genius child piano prodigy who just wants to be “normal.”

This scene of the movie actually made me laugh out loud, stop, rewind, rewatch and laugh all over again.

Vitus, who’s 12, is having dinner with his former babysitter, whom he has a mad crush on.
---------
Vitus: Well, statistically, women are usually seven years younger than their partners, but that’s really stupid because men die seven years earlier, so women are widows for 14 years... We would die at the same time. Besides, a woman’s libido is at its peak 10 years later than a man’s. That’s why so many relationships fail. Women should be older than their men. We would make the perfect couple. Isabel, you’re the love of my life.
Isabel: And what about sex?
Vitus: Well, that could wait for a while. It’s just an optional exchange of DNA anyway.

Playing "The Box"

So a few of our kids are getting interested in this fad of “El Cajon” – a percussion box that you sit on and play. It originated in Peru. They are very cool and very inexpensive.

My question is this: should I buy a few and start a new percussion ensemble called “Los Cajones?”

More renovation pictures

Here's the dining room: before, during and after.

Those Crazy Catholics!

I swear there is a saint for EVERYTHING! I'm very thankful for my buddy D who brought this to me on his last trip to town. You KNOW how I feel about bacon. (If you don't, re-read this post. It's a long, long story.