I made the comment to someone the other day that my faith seems to be in the toilet lately. They didn't really know how to handle that. Don't really care - I'm just being honest. Sorry if that makes some of you uncomfortable.
Does God care that I'm feeling a little selfishly unhappy right now? I'm not so sure. I think He cares whether I'm trying to be like Jesus, or if I'm trying to introduce others to Him, or if my heart hurts for those around the world who don't know Him or worse, have rejected Him. But does He care about my day-to-day dissatisfaction with my life? Hmmmm...I think He wants to slap me around a little bit and treat me like the selfish brat that I am. But hey, those of you who've been following my journey will be happy to know that I've graduated from the 4 year old "throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store" brat to the 14 year old "belligerent, hormone-raging adolescent who hates the world and everything in it."
Oh, and the whole "prosperity gospel" - if you ask, you'll get. If you haven't gotten yet, you haven't prayed hard enough or haven't been specific enough or "Christian" enough or honest enough....that's pretty much a load of crap, too. God promises us salvation if we put our lives in His son Jesus' hands. That's pretty much ALL we're promised. Everything else that's GOOD is a gift. Everything that sucks...well, that's life. It's what we really deserve in the first place.
Right now, I'm in the middle of "Life".....it's feeling pretty sucky!
Now, now...before you start getting all gossipy "Let's talk about Bing so we can pray for her" or Pollyanna "Everything's gonna be fine" on me, remember the original purpose of the Bing Blog: to let those who know me and care to read it get a look at what's going on inside my skull. It's not always fun and games and pretty. Sometimes it's dark and twisted. I'm just trying to be real.
It's just a phase. It'll pass.
2 years ago
2 comments:
Lets see if I can toss a pithy saying or two your way that may help…
When I’m feeling dark and pissy, there are three things that tend to put a smile on my face. First is that realization that all of my problems with God are actually problems with religions and their followers. Second is the idea that life is what you make of it. If life sucks right now, do something to make it better. If it sucks for more then two weeks without relief, it may be time for professional help, maybe drugs. And third, is being thankful. I tend not to ask God for favors. I feel that he has better things to worry about then what would make my life better. Instead I thank him for the things that are good… video games, oreos, my continued existence; basically what ever doesn’t currently suck… and some times even the opportunity to have experienced what ever currently sucks.
If all that doesn’t pull a grin, I call up bubbly or cynical friend (depending on the nature of the dark and pissiness) and dump all the problems on them. Because, ultimately, nothing helps a bad mood like sharing it.
I hope this has, if not helped, at least has not made things worse.
-dudeface (a cynical friend)
I 2nd DudeFace's emotion. As you said God doesn't promise us anything, however He does teach us to get a new perspective and sometime when life is sucky, that's all you need - a different perspective to change from sucky to not so sucky.
Thanks DudeFace for your eloquent suggestion. I don't know about Bing, but I need it.
Post a Comment