My kid can beat up your kid....

So yesterday at church, our youth pastor did an awesome job. I may try to put the pod cast link up later. In any case, he had arranged for Compassion International to send us ALL the kids they needed sponsors for from an area of Indonesia. His goal was to get 100 kids sponsored; we responded by sponsoring 400. My faith is restored. There ARE people in the world who think of others. But here's a funny thing...I went for a cook-out at my pastor's house last night. I saw his "Compassion" kid's profile page on the table and then I started telling him about mine. His response? "My 'Compassion' kid can beat up YOUR 'Compassion' kid!" THAT'S why I love him!

Oh, and someone wanted me to post cook-out etiquette about dominating conversations here. Which I find very rude and annoying. The constant talking, not the request to post about it. But I think it would be mean to bring it up. So I'm going to leave it alone. Sort of.

An elephant walks into a bar.....

Just got this joke from a gypsy musician friend of mine. It's too funny not to pass on....

An elephant goes into a high-class restaurant and sits at the piano
bar, where a pianist is playing some cool, up-tempo jazz.The pianist
switches to a long and soulful blues ballad, and when he finishes, the
pianist notices that the elephant is all teary-eyed over his drink.He
says to the elephant, "Wow, man - I didn't think you would be that
affected by my playing...""No, no it isn't that," said the elephant,
sobbing. "I just recognized some of the keys."

And now for something completely different!

Go to Eepybird.com for more details.

What's up with THAT?

Ok, so I was on the phone with a friend of mine last night. We hadn't talked in WAY too long, so it was one of those 3 hour marathons. She was having some relationship issues (those of you who know me know I have NO relationships, therefore no issues!) and I was trying to help her sort through it all. For her sake, we'd like to set all of the men in the world straight on a few things. I'm hoping that all of my male readers will weigh in on this one. (YOU know who you are, but have you got the guts?!!)

First, if you are consistently spending large amounts of time with a woman, either on-line, on the phone or in person, in her mind YOU ARE DATING. At that point, it doesn't really matter what you think. She's put you in her daily/weekly agenda IN PEN and you are considered a jerk if you change the rules without actually telling her. You're a double dog jerk if sex has been involved in any way, shape, form or discussion.

Second, if you are dating a woman, you MUST speak to them either in person or if you are a faint hearted wimp, on the phone and you must (I repeat MUST) say these exact words: I don't want to date you anymore. Anything you say before or after will not be heard anyway, so the "It's not you; it's me" crap - save it. Likewise the "I still want to be friends" thing; at this point it's not about you anymore, anyway, so take a flying leap.

Lastly, if you say "I'll call you later," we need you to be a little more specific. Does that mean "later in the day, before you go to bed?" Does that mean "later in the week, so that we can clean up our date plans for the weekend?" Or does it really mean "later in my life, when I'm really bored/horny/lonely and remember that you exist?" It would make life SO much easier for us if you could be a little more specific.

And that, my friends, is all she wrote!

Time Warp

Don't you just wish sometimes that you could jet 5, 10 or even 20 years into the future just to see if anything more exciting is going to happen to you that what's going on right now? I'm SO tired of the "same old, same old." At least if I had a HINT that something was going to change, I wouldn't be so frustrated and bored right now. UGH!!!!

Amphibious creatures

Yesterday as I was walking along, these tiny baby lizards get crossing my path. They were very cute and then it struck me: They were all running in the same direction. They were all crossing the sidewalk from the street side to the bushes. I wonder why. Was it because it was "lizard dinner time" and their mommies were calling them in? Was it past "lizard bed time?" Were they all running scared for home as the big, giant person came pounding by? Or were they playing a "little lizard" version of chicken, where they dared each other to run by as close to me as possible? The scarier thought is, why do I care?

I warned you that my mind is a scary place. On that note, I need to go tend to the tadpoles in my pool!

Game night

On a lighter note, last night was Game Night at M and S's house with friends from my small group. We started off playing "Killer Bunnies", which V hated, but I loved. Then we had lots of food, including Mexican Salsa burgers from (gratuitous ad) Dream Dinners where S works. YUMMY! We finished the night playing "Catch Phrase" which was VERY fun, until M tried to get his team to guess "Hatchet Girl" when the word was really "Hat Check Girl". Funny thing is, I was on his team and I was right there with him.

How Great....

So yesterday in church, the opening worship package had "How Great is Our God/How Great Thou Art." I was reminded of how about a month ago, I was at Crater Lake. As I looked on to this amazing piece of God's work, those words just kept going through my mind. I was SO having a date with Him at that point. I had just picked up the John/Stasi Eldridge book "Captivating". I saw the lodge and thought I heard Him say, "Hey! It's OK. You work hard and now you're on vacation. You can treat yourself to dinner and a night in the lodge." So I did; You can't really see the lodge in this picture, but it's on the right-hand side, just below the littlest peak. Nothing else for miles around. The food at the lodge was AWESOME and I had some great conversations with diners around me. They are often curious about people who are dining alone (which I wasn't, but they couldn't tell!) and ask lots of questions. Luckily, I'm not shy so it made for a great night!

The polls are still open....

The poll question changes tomorrow (more or less; since I don't have Internet at home, I have to find creative ways to get online.) so here's your last chance to vote. Someone sent me Maxine's take on the question, so I thought it would be appropriate to post her thoughts as well.

Happy voting!

Cirque de "La Flea"

I've angered the fleas. They have called in reinforcements. It's like a little flea circus, only I seem to be the only clown. Peanut has not exactly TAKEN to flea baths, but she tolerates them as she knows she feels better afterwards. My next strategic move is planned for Monday. Top secret. I'd give you the details but then I would have to kill you. Earnest (the cat) has not a single flea. He sits on the couch and mocks. He got his; he didn't come in last night when I told him it was bedtime. It rained all night and he had to hid under the bushes. Stupid feline!

Ummmm....and so?

At what point does someone else's problem become YOUR problem? I have this person who is REALLY immature and pissing me off at the moment. I actually just spend 20 minutes spelling the whole thing out, but don't really want to give details or cause undue hurt, but ARGH! Can we just grow up and accept the fact that the world doesn't owe us ANYTHING and we should be thankful for any happiness we get? Move on and don't expect me to get wrapped up in your little drama. I have enough of my own!

So how was YOUR day?

Another Day in Paradise

People often ask me how I can stand Miami in the summer, since it's SO hot and humid. I usually tell them, "I don't. I'm never there." Which is true. Mostly. I'm usually gone from June 1 until mid-July and this year was no exception. Except it's REALLY muggy right now and my pool is green. Slightly. It should be fine in another day or so, but for now, I can't go in it. BUMMER!

The other joy of returning from vacation (other than a green pool)is that my dog is COMPLETELY covered in fleas and ticks. HUGE ticks. NASTY ticks. And pesky fleas. Poor Peanut; she doesn't understand why she's had 3 baths this week and why I'm not so excited for her to sleep with me these days. She's a little out of sorts. Right now, we're at school (free internet!) trying to kill 4 hours while the flea bombs go off in the house.

Here's a question to ponder: You aren't actually supposed to be IN the house when you set off bug bombs, so why does raid make a "citrus" scented one? Hmmmmm.....

Christian Freak or Freakin' Christian?

I got a call from Martha yesterday. Those of you who know me know Rob and Martha, of the baby store fame. Just to give you a little background; through them, I discovered that there is a price for salvation. I won't give you the dollar amount but the story is amusing and inspiring. The VERY short version: the store was in trouble, I helped them financially and told them I would pray for them but told them God hears better when you go to the altar yourself. The ending? The baby store is gone, but their relationship with the Lord is strong and growing.

So here is Martha's story from yesterday; again - short version for all of you with ADD. She was driving along the Edens Expressway in Chicago and saw 2 white school busses stranded on the side of the road with sailors milling about. Her first thought was "I wonder if they need a ride?" When she realized there were 40 of them and her car seats 4 (I didn't say she was necessarily the QUICKEST at thinking things through) she thought about how hot it was and went to a grocery store, buying water and granola bars. She then found her way right back to the busses and as she pulled up shouted, "Who prayed for water?" As they cheered and thanked her, they asked her if they could repay her. Her response was "Don't worry about that. Just know that God answers prayer."

She said she had to call me and tell me, since a few years ago, she never would have used the words "God" and "prayer" in any conversation, let alone as an encouragement to others. She said I've turned her in to a Christian Freak. Well, she couldn't decide between that or Freakin' Christian. Either way, I'm happy!

Putting down roots

I got a new tree today. Isn't it nice? Compliments of the city; the mayor even came and helped chip away at the limestone to prepare the hole to put it in. I really think he was there for the photo op, since our neighborhood activist was there and she never has anything good to say about him. In any case, the hole was dug, the tree is in place and now the watering is up to me. The irony is that the city was supposed to send someone out to mark the utility lines first to make sure that the hole and subsequent root system don't interfere. In typical city fashion, the tree was planted at 10 AM and the utilities were marked around 1 PM. But it all lines up fine and things should be ok. It won't offer much shade for awhile, but in time, it will rival the old oaks that surround the neighborhood.

This reminds me of how we put down our spiritual roots as well. Sometimes the ground is really rocky and the roots won't be able to take hold, causing us to topple over in a storm. Sometimes we need help getting the rocks out of the way and the roots in place. Sometimes our "helpers" may have a more self-serving purpose for their actions, but in any case, their help allows us to reach our goal. Sometimes the clear path is marked AFTER we start to put down our roots, but as long as we can see the direction we are headed, I guess it doesn't matter. The most important thing is that we keep weeding and watering and eventually, we'll be as strong as those who've been around for years. Just pray that any storms that come aren't strong enough to topple me!

Finally Going Home

I left home June 5th, doing the annual "sofa-bed and dorm room" tour. It's now July 13th. At least I finished in a good hotel, with a nice, comfy king-size bed and lots of room. There is something soothing about taking a nice long bubble bath and then dropping in (au natural, of course!) for a late night movie and sleeping in without an alarm. I tried to make it through "Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood" but didn't make it. Luckily it was on TBS so guess what was on when I woke up this morning....yep! I picked up almost where I left off. Got a late check-out, so I'm staying in my room, relaxing a little longer and catching up on e-mails and blogs. Then it's the final 4 hour drive home and back to reality.

The downside of today is that another dear friend (there I go again, that makes 3) is moving across the country today. He should be driving this way as I type this. I'm hoping we can get together for lunch or at least a cup of coffee and a hug. I've known he was leaving for quite some time but it's finally sinking in. It's just one of those things I guess; the ride is over and he's moving to a different track. I just hope our friendship moves to that next level, where it doesn't matter how often you connect, the intensity and sincerity is still there. I have a few of those; it's truly a blessing!

God moments

Amazing how just when you are really feeling like you're all alone in your journey, God reaches down an orchestrates a way for you to feel his touch. I'm just packing up to go home after 5 weeks on the road but it's kind of bittersweet. While away from home, I was able to be around lots of people and share so many moments, with little time for myself. Even though the over-stimulation was at times too much to take, I would prefer that over my currect situation of heading home to the exact opposite; long periods of isolation and brief bursts of interaction.

So while I sit here and pack, I decided to upload a worship cd made by another dear friend (and I don't use that term lightly) and his high school choir. Just what I needed. If that "touch" weren't enough, just after I sent him an e-mail to tell him how much I appreciate it, my phone ring. Guess who? It's those times when you are thinking of someone and know that they are thinking of you as well that I really feel the Master's touch.

Dreams of Disney

Last night I had a dream about Disney World. I'll wonder if it has anything to do with my frequent references to thrill rides? Hmmmmmmmmm.......

Riding the Centrifuge

Right now I feel like I'm on one of those rides that spins you around so fast you stick to the wall and then the bottom drops out. I have so much on my mind and on my plate, mostly lofty ideas and projects that need to be completed. I have the motivation, but not the time and money to do it all. If I could only stop time and work on all of it without having to deal with ordinary life. The hardest part is knowing that if I don't do it all, it really won't matter. The sun will come up tomorrow and the earth will keep spinning. The only disappointment will be knowing that I could have done more.

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have done.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

You can't win if you don't play!

Well, since I officially launched this blog yesterday, I see that a few of you have checked it out. For that, I thank you. It tells me that at least someone out there is curious, or at least very bored. I worked hard on the site; I appreciate your attention. Actually, I'm monitoring attendance for a computer class that meets 6 hours a day for 5 days and got REALLY bored, so yesterday I played "create a blog." The day before I played "take a nap" on a couch right outside the class. I'm not sure which was more fun. I haven't decided yet what today's entertainment will be. Perhaps Kitty Canon will do. It's one of my favorites.

I noticed you didn't take this week's poll. I'm sorry; did you think it was optional? Or perhaps you didn't see it. Never fear, I moved it. Now you can play.

Waiting in Line

Isn't it amazing how when you're snaking back and forth in line for a coaster, you get really friendly with the people who are there doing the exact same thing? You smile at first but after 2 or 3 passes through those monotonous mazes, you start to recognize them and nod in recognition. By the 4th time around, you're asking each other questions like "Where are you from?" or "Isn't the weather (insert description here)?" Right when you think you could possibly like this person and are about to invite them out for lunch or at least a giant cotton candy, one of you reaches the coaster loading dock and speeds off for an adventure leaving the other behind wondering if you'll ever see each other again. Sometimes you do, but the intensity of the encounter is gone, leaving you to not much more than a nod of recognition as you hurry on to the next thrill ride. Most of the time you don't. Sometimes friendships are like that, too.

Buckle Up and Hang On

A really good friend once told me that I often seem like a roller coaster; lots of highs with deep crashes in between. Now, before you start thinking that I'm manic or psycho, understand that he's right. The reason is that I feel things so intensely that I can't hide my emotions very well. What you see is what you get. That same friend told me that it's hard to really help me through the crashes since I don't let people on the ride. So here's your invitation.....just remember to keep your hands inside the car at all times.