Ok, so I was on the phone with a friend of mine last night. We hadn't talked in WAY too long, so it was one of those 3 hour marathons. She was having some relationship issues (those of you who know me know I have NO relationships, therefore no issues!) and I was trying to help her sort through it all. For her sake, we'd like to set all of the men in the world straight on a few things. I'm hoping that all of my male readers will weigh in on this one. (YOU know who you are, but have you got the guts?!!)
First, if you are consistently spending large amounts of time with a woman, either on-line, on the phone or in person, in her mind YOU ARE DATING. At that point, it doesn't really matter what you think. She's put you in her daily/weekly agenda IN PEN and you are considered a jerk if you change the rules without actually telling her. You're a double dog jerk if sex has been involved in any way, shape, form or discussion.
Second, if you are dating a woman, you MUST speak to them either in person or if you are a faint hearted wimp, on the phone and you must (I repeat MUST) say these exact words: I don't want to date you anymore. Anything you say before or after will not be heard anyway, so the "It's not you; it's me" crap - save it. Likewise the "I still want to be friends" thing; at this point it's not about you anymore, anyway, so take a flying leap.
Lastly, if you say "I'll call you later," we need you to be a little more specific. Does that mean "later in the day, before you go to bed?" Does that mean "later in the week, so that we can clean up our date plans for the weekend?" Or does it really mean "later in my life, when I'm really bored/horny/lonely and remember that you exist?" It would make life SO much easier for us if you could be a little more specific.
And that, my friends, is all she wrote!
3 years ago
6 comments:
I hereby apologize to all the women I've mistreated in the ways listed by the author of this blog. But, as it turns out, I'm gay. It just took me a long time to admit it.
Well, the least you could do is apologize in person to anyone you've mistreated. Otherwise, they wonder what they did wrong. This is the time when the "It's not you, it's me" comment IS valid and accepted. It validates the woman and she can move on to other psycho behaviors. Besides, all women know that gay men make better friends anyway.
But something tells me you're lying and just messing with our heads. Which is an entirely different blog entry.
Boys...
so Sus and I were discussing this anonymous comment, a bit perplexed. We've decided that closet gay guys don't make good friends because they are always jelous that you can date the cute boy and they can't. Once out, however...they ROCK!
So our question, Mr. Anonymous (if in fact, that IS your real name and sexual orientation), what say you?
Tia said it well...we're all guilty of miscommunication. Now raise your right hand and repeat these words: "I (state your name) do hereby promise to say what I mean, mean what I say and and call when I say I will."
There. Now don't you feel better?!
I agree with the first one, but it is fuzzy in the beginning, so I would hope your "man" is upfront with you, or he is a loser after only one thing.
Second, seems reasonable, I am usually pretty straight forward. Down to all the male dogs who drag things out.
Third, I never say "I will call you later"... then you have committed to calling and look like a total ass when you don't call. Don't call for sex 6 months later... not cool.
Keep it real, and be honest.
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