Back to School/Meet the Parents

Tonight is "Back to School" night. I get to meet all of the creators of the darling students that I see every day. I hate talking in front of the parents, but you have to, for 10 minutes per class. If you don't fill the 10 minutes, they ask questions. Sometimes, they come in with a chip on their shoulder, and then the questions can become a little nasty. So instead, you talk for 10 minutes straight. Blah, blah, blah....the truth is that everything is on our website, so if you can read, please do so!

My favorite thing to tell the beginning parents is "PLEASE don't react negatively when you hear them practice their first notes so enthusiastically. My family complained the first time I brought my horn home, and I never brought it home again." Plus I remind them that they only have ONE beginner to listen to; I have a whole class full!

Of course, they are all a little on edge, because the kids learned their first note on Monday, and we were off Tuesday and Wednesday because of Ernesto. I also requested that the kids NOT leave their instruments here during the storm in case of damage to the room. Needless to say, the kids ALL practiced hard for two days. On that first note. And a few that haven't learned yet. And even a few that don't exist!

And so it begins....

Once again, we started school WAY before Labor Day. And once again, we are closing school for a hurricane before Labor Day. Again, I ask: Why don't we just start school AFTER Labor Day? We'll still be in hurricane season, but at least we'll have a fighting chance at not having to make up days lost for a storm.

And another thing: Could we have some storm names that could actually incite fear and trepidation, please? My cat's name is Earnest, so when I hear about Hurricane Ernesto, I think of something chasing leaves around the yard, ignoring me when I call and batting at my eyes when I'm sleeping. Not so much scary, but annoying.

Anyway, be safe out there.

My morning prayer

Dear Lord,

So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed nor eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.

BUT I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I think that I will really need your help then.

AMEN!

Animal suicide

I saved a cat from killing himself ( or herself; I didn't get a good look) today. While I was waiting at a light this morning, I saw this poor animal limp under the car in front of me. It didn't come out the other side. When I looked carefully, it was lying under the car, waiting for death. I parked the car (much to the dismay of the drivers behind me) and when the car in front moved, the cat was still there. I tried to pick it up, but it hissed at me and ran off. I'm sure it is not much longer for this world, as it looked to be in bad shape. Still, I couldn't stand to see it get run over, so I "talked it down." I feel so much better.

Did you hear ...

the one about the guy who was caught boarding a plane with a "suspicious" device in his bag. Seems he was traveling with his mother and didn't want her to know he was carrying his penis pump with him. So he told the security screeners it was a bomb and now faces up to 3 years in prison.

Wouldn't Viagra be a better option? In any case, he needs to know not to eat the Honey Buns in prison.

Run, Bing, Run!

So I've done it. I registered yesterday for the Miami ING Half Marathon. This lazy freak who would rather sleep late and eat sugar more than ANYTHING is going to be running 13.2 miles in January. What the HECK was I thinking? In any case, I'll be needing your support and LOTS of prayers.

The Game of Life

In honor of another successful game night, that is the theme of this week's poll. Vote early, vote often, but most importantly, let your dead relatives vote because that's what we do in Miami.

Oh, and post your opinion here.....

match.com

Have you ever heard the one about the two single people on match.com? It goes something like this:

He: I liked your profile. Here are some questions I'd like you to answer to see if we match.
She: Great! Here are my answers. Now here are my questions to you.
He: Wonderful! You sound like a good match. Let's meet for coffee. Can you send me a picture so I know what you look like?
She: I'll meet you at noon on Sunday at Starbucks. Here are a few pictures.

He: (at 11:30 on Sunday, via voicemail) Sorry I can't make it. Something suddenly came up. My elderly mother fell and had to go to the hospital and I have a relative flying in from out of town.

You haven't heard that one? Well, I did. Yesterday.

YAWN!!!

You know how sometimes you're just too tired to think straight, and you have a kazillion things to do, so you keep jumping from one thing to another, answering an e-mail then returning a phone call, then working on a project, then jumping back to your e-mail, then thinking of another cool project, then answering another e-mail? That's how my afternoon has been. The Christian Freaks left this morning and I'm sad. We were up until 12:30 AM talking, and then I had to drive them to the airport at 5 AM. Then I came straight to school and I'm just getting ready to leave now. That makes a 15 hour day. But if you consider I left school every day right after classes to go home and visit with them, I put in all of my planning hours in one big stretch today. Plus my desk is CLEAN! That feels good.

I'm still tired. I hate those freaks!

Double Blog Dare

I usually try to keep the posts to one-a-day, one topic only. I don't think anyone REALLY wants to hear the dribble that goes on in my mind. Today, I'll make an exception.

Blog topic #1 - Aqua Cinema: quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever hosted. "Jaws" on the big screen (even bigger than V's or Wide Daddy Dave's, but alas, not HD) was awesome, especially when my bobbing dolphin floaty drifted across the pool in front of the projector during the opening scene. The shadow dolphin effect was quite convincing.

Blog topic #2 - Classroom Antics: too funny not to share. I was discussing opera with my 6th grade general music class. The terms kept flying: lyric opera, grand opera, comic opera, etc. One student said when he thinks of opera, he thinks of fat ladies in Viking hats. Another kid looked perplexed and said "Who's Opera Winfrey?" He was serious.

It's going to be a GREAT year!

Aqua Cinema

Well, the first-ever "Aqua Cinema" was a rain-out. "Aqua Cinema" is an event where we float in my pool and watch a water-themed movie. The first one was to be "Jaws" last night, but it rained. When the lightening first started flashing, I looked up at the heavens and pleaded (out loud) to God, "Awwww....COME ON!" I got whinier as the lightening got closer and pretty soon, everyone ran into the house because they thought God might strike me down for being such a brat.

We went inside and played more "Catch Phrase" (see Game night) It was very funny until M got the word "hat check girl" at which point, those of us at the original Game Night collapsed into fits of uncontrollable laughter. We never quite recovered from that.

Calling God's Bluff

My Christian Freaks arrived from Chicago late last night. They told me the flight was not great; the air kept going off, they were next to a restroom so it smelled, and M couldn't put her tray down because there's a baby in the way. That was her fun way of telling me they are pregnant. HOW COOL! They are due April Fool's Day. HOW APPROPRIATE!

For 14 years, they've said they don't want kids. A few months back, they decided they wanted to adopt in a few years. M started thinking (ALWAYS a dangerous thing) that maybe she wasn't really listening to God and she was trying to do things her own way instead of His. So in typical Christian Freak fashion, she said she called God's bluff. AND as always, He wins. The story they tell is that when R found out, he started screaming and wagging his finger at her.

"You can't call God's bluff. You can't call God's bluff. You can't call God's bluff."

I'm throwing my chips in tomorrow.

Polls and posts

This week's poll came to me while I was in church yesterday. Be sure to vote, and better yet, post your reasoning behind your vote here. Since so many of you are musicians, this could be a lively discussion. Even better, you can subscribe to this blog (look over there <----- under my profile where it says "Subscribe to this blog.")

I think Jesus would play bass because most bass players I know are the strong, silent type. They provide a good foundation for everyone else to build on, and they don't often get to have the showy solos. When they do, it blows your mind. Plus Jesus was used to walking, so playing a bass line would be second nature. Of course, Jesus could play ANYTHING like it was second nature.

I'll ask Him about that when I see Him.

School Zone: Drive Slowly

Get those pencils sharpened, kiddies. School is back in session. I'm SO ready. The last three weeks with nothing in particular to do got to be a bit much and my ritalin supply was low. The best part is catching up with friends and seeing how much the students grew over the summer. Today I got to see my returning 8th graders, which was VERY fun. They were extremely rowdy, but we only had a 10 minute orientation so I let it pass. They were just excited to see each other again. The faculty was just as bad at the opening meetings last weekend. Everyone will settle into a routine by next week.

I don't plan on reporting EVERY last thing that happens with my darling cherubs, but there was one "blog worthy" moment today. As the 7th grade Dean, I deal with discipline issues. To avoid embarrasing students too much, when I call them by name in assembly because I need to speak to them, I just say "Please meet me by the piano in the lobby for lessons." Today in class, I asked the students to write if they were taking piano lessons and if so, for how long. They busted out laughing. It took me a second, but when I realized what they were thinking, I had to crack up as well.

Ok, so I guess you had to be there.

A winner of a day...

The day after I posted my whiny "Me, me, me" comment, here was my day:
1. We got 4 inches of rain in about 2 hours.
2. My classroom sprung 2 leaks.
3. My dog's fleas and ticks re-appeared.
4. After bathing the dog, she then had an "accident" in the bathroom while I was in the shower.
5. My robe fell to the floor, where my dog's little gift was left.
6. When I moved the bathroom rugs to the laundry room, I discovered that I have a big leak at home as well.
7. The cat threw up in the dining room.
8. The frogs had sex in the pool again.
9. I had to laugh, because I knew God was laughing, too.

Holy Spirit, Rain Down, but please - can I have an umbrella?

When worlds collide

I just got a call from my Christian Freak friends (see Christian Freaks or Freakin Christian) It seems they are attending the Willow Creek Leadership Conference this weekend. They said "We're sitting in front of some people from Miami." Come to find out, they are sitting in front of the Senior and Associate Pastors from MY church. It's interesting how that works. I've told both sides many stories about the other, but never in a million years thought they would MEET each other, especially without me present. Yikes! I hope they aren't talking about me and what a wacko I am......

Blessed to be a Blessing

So my struggle for the day (week, month, year, lifetime) seems to be a little bit of frustration and wonder. I've had so many people that I've been praying for and helping out. I've provided money, food, shelter, a shoulder to cry on, a word of encouragement and even a few random acts of kindness along the way. Now I'm seeing the blessings pour down as friends find work, worth and their way in this world. I'm grateful to know a God who can answer the cries in the darkness. But I can't help but wonder if it's wrong to ask "When is it going to be MY turn?"

You live a sheltered life

V sent me an awesome link today. It's Hoops and YoYo's Blog.I love them. I love them a lot. If you've never heard of them, you live a very sheltered life.

It seemed like a good idea at the time....

So when I was out to lunch (literally, not figuratively) with friends last week, we got on the topic of the "All-You-Can-Eat" buffet. I pointed out that in truth, they are "All-You-Can-Eat-Right-Now" buffets, and that if you tried to sit there for too long, I'm certain that some big burly doormen would ask you to kindly stop eating and leave. Which brings me to my latest venture, the TRUE "All-You-Can-Eat" club. You would pay a set amount for a monthly or yearly membership and by showing your card, you could eat whenever you want.

Now normally, when I present one of my little "get-rich-quick" schemes to people, they simply chuckle and back away slowly, not breaking eye contact so as to make their escape. Not so this time. My dear demented friends helped with planning, marketing and development ideas, such as "Do you have customers sign up for dining times and do you charge more for premium times. Do you have a breakfast, lunch or dinner plan as well as the 'Mother Load' meal plan? What if you had 'theme' nights with an international flair?" The conversation became heated and twisted.

God, I LOVE my friends.

Gay sex in the bathroom

I KNEW that headline would get your attention. So this little blog was just a way for my out-of-touch friends to understand a little more about me and this crazy life I live in Miami. So here's how my day went:

1. Went to school to get a little work done, even though I don't have to start until next Thursday. Why go if you aren't getting paid, you ask? Well, it's hot and they have free air conditioning. And Internet. AND I was bored. 'Nuff said?

2. Met some friends for lunch at Beverly Hills Cafe (YUM), except I had already eaten lunch. But BHC has free air conditioning. And I wanted to see my friends. AND I was bored. (do you see a theme?) When I got there, they were just about to order dessert. Those who know me know that I'm ALL about dessert. The best part? The waiter threw in dessert for free (because my friends are so awesome).

3. Since BHC is right around the corner from my hair salon, I stopped in to visit A, my hairdresser and flambouyantly homosexual former neighbor, whom I LOVE because a) he makes me laugh and b) he makes me look better. Notice I didn't say good, or great. Just better. I wanted to make an appointment, but he was just finishing his last appointment for the day, so I stayed and got my "new school year's starting" color/cut. He did a fabulous job, as always.

4. Of course, A then insisted that it was my obligation to take him to Martini Bar for drinks, which I did. Happy Hour, 2 for 1 and all; he with Lemon Drops, me with Mojitos. Then something really weird, but amusing and somewhat profitable happened. He went to the restroom and saw one of the busboys, who is also a client of his at the salon. He was trying to convince the poor kid that he should spike his hair or something like that, and they were in the handicapped stall looking in the mirror, playing with his hair up and then down, and then up again. Some guy came in and saw them and went back out and complained to the manager that there was some gay sexual activity going on in the restroom. To make a LONG story short, our entire bar tab was paid for by the bar manager and we joked about the whole thing all night. We did tip the waitress heavily, though.

There you have it; my fun-filled day in a nutshell. And it hardly cost me a thing. Now you see why I'm SO ready for school to start!

It's never boring!

Life in South Florida is unlike anywhere else. Tuesday, I was driving down Calle Ocho (that's 8th Street, for all you gringos) and noticed that there was a CONSIDERABLE buzz outside of Versailles, which is a popular Cuban restaurant. The police were out, the protestors were out and of course, the live video feed news trucks were out. I guessed that something must be going on. Then I got to Home Depot (which is reported to be THE busiest one in the country) and it was EMPTY. Now I KNEW that something was going on. But, since I have NO TV and no Internet at home, I forgot all about it.

Later that day, I saw the headline. Remember the old picture of the "Dewey beats Truman" headline? Remember how big the font was on that infamous headline? You know how in newspaper terms, they always say to put the most important news ABOVE the fold of the front page? Well, they did. In the BIGGEST font size possible, just so you wouldn't miss it. In ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, like they were shouting at you, in case you couldn't read. Like we always talk louder to people who don't speak English, like it will help.

"CASTRO CEDES POWER"

Funny thing is, we may have a visit from Tropical Storm, er perhaps Hurricane, Chris this weekend. That was buried somewhere around page 12. I think I'll go stock up on supplies now, while the stores are empty. Everyone else is at Versailles, hoping Fidel dies.

Viva Cuba Libre!

Got a Secret?

So I just finished reading this British chick lit book (a: it's SUMMER; b: I'm a chick; so there!) called "Can You Keep a Secret" by Sophie Kinsella. Very fun, but it got me to thinking: We ALL have secrets that we can't tell ANYONE, even our closest friends. Sure, there are some that we can tell certain friends and SWEAR them to secrecy, but there are the I-would-want-to-die-if-anyone-found-this-out secrets that we carry around with us forever. (Uhhh....see the first comment from "What's Up With That?) As I see it, you have 3 options:
1. Keep it hidden and deal with it, ulcers and all.
2. Post it anonymously here.
3. Send it here, which is actually a very interesting site.